Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Pig-Sitter Faces Charges for Fattening the Hog

You won't hear a story like this every day.

KTTC-TV reports that Michelle Schmitz, the Minnesota owner of a pet pig named Alaina Templeton, is pursuing animal cruelty charges against her pet pig's former hog-sitter.

(Yes, the pet pig does indeed have a surname. Like Arnold Ziffel.)

But, I digress...

So, this tale began when Ms Schmitz, quite unfortunately, wasn't well enough for a time to care for the said Alaina Templeton, and thus, Alaina Templeton was left with a pig-sitter until her owner got better.

As the story goes, while in the pig-sitter's care, Alaina Templeton just ate.

And ate and ate.

And then she ate some more.

And after a year or so with the pig-sitter, the girth of the previously svelte Alaina Templeton had somewhat increased.

Increased three-fold, in fact.

Yes, over time, Alaina grew bigger. Rounder. Thicker.

And even though it's not nice to say, the undeniable truth is that Alaina Templeton just kept getting fatter and fatter and fatter:

Let's face it, when Alaina Templeton stepped on a scale to be weighed, it said...'to be continued'...

She was once, twice, three times a piggy.*

And unfortunately, this is where our story takes a more serious turn.

You see, the problem is that as Alaina Templeton expanded, her neck collar got tighter.

Much tighter.

So tight, in fact, that according to her owner, the collar became virtually embedded in Alaina's neck.

Now I suppose this isn't really humourous. Not if you are Alaina Templeton.

At least, that's how Michelle Schmitz felt about it.

When she eventually picked up her pet pig from the pet pig-sitter, Ms Shmitz was outraged by what had become of Alaina Templeton.

Especially when she found out the collar required surgery to be removed.

And that cost a thousand bucks. Which could have paid for a lot of bacon.

So she contacted the authorities.

Misdemeanor charges against the sitter were indeed laid, and are pending.

So, now it will be up to the Minnesota courts to decide.

Will Alaina Templeton, a pig with a surname, receive the justice she so richly deserves?

Will this pig tale end with Alaina's pig-sitter in the pen...?

That's pen...

As in penitentiary.

We'll be keeping our snouts to the ground for breaking news on this sad tale.

So, as Brian Mulroney once put it, stay tuned...

(h/t ABA Journal)

* Adapted from humorsphere.


And for those of you inspired enough by this story to be thinking about getting your own pet hog, Pigstuff. com might well be the place your pig-search should begin.

After all, it poses this compelling question:

"Before you buy a pet pig, consider adopting! Why buy when so many pet pigs need a good home?"

Yes. Exactly what I was thinking.

- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

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