1. Declare presumptive victory before all votes are counted.
2. Repeatedly emphasize that it would be wrong, undemocratic and positively un-American to require all ballots to be counted, given that inevitable victory has already been achieved.
3. Repeated this mantra: "If the battle does not now end, America will surely self-destruct."
4. Firmly demand that the opponent withdraw for the 'good of the country.'
5. Repeat steps 1 through 4.
How about now?