Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts

Friday, October 01, 2010

Court Humour (Your Friday Funny)

Recently making the rounds of Digg and Reddit is this eight-year-old humour piece (rescued from the depths of the internet, as Digg and Reddit are prone to do) from the late Miles Kington, wherein Kington makes up a pretty funny witness/barrister dialogue:
Counsel: Now, Mr Chrysler – for let us assume that that is your name – you are accused of purloining in excess of 40,000 hotel coat hangers.

Chrysler: I am.

Counsel: Can you explain how this came about?

Chrysler: Yes. I had 40,000 coats which I needed to hang up.

Counsel: Is that true?

Chrysler: No.
Read the whole thing, and then the followup, but you probably shouldn't take it as a teaching example unless you think the judge is in an exceptionally good mood.

- Christopher Bird, Toronto

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Friday, January 15, 2010

Best Law Firm TV Ad Ever

Via Overlawyered

- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

A Dog's Bylaw

Too funny (via Cy S.).

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Video: The War on Jokes - Protesting David Letterman

Funny stuff from Sam Seder:

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Palin As President?

The website, that is.

Have fun.

- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

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Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Sex for 25 Gallons of Gas

Believe it or not, it happened in Kentucky.

As reported by National Post (quoting the Smoking Gun), a 34 year old woman is facing prostitution charges for allegedly trading sex for $100 gas card.

Read the story here.

- Shashi K. Raina, Toronto

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Saturday, April 05, 2008

An Anniversary Joke

Wise Law Blog - Third Blogversary SpecialThe Truth:

Bob and Nancy were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. After 50 years, Bob wanted to know if Nancy was always faithful. Bob asked, "Have you ever cheated on me?" Nancy replied, "Yes, three times." "What?!", yelled Bob, "When?" Nancy said, "Remember when the septic tank flooded back in ’69 and we couldn’t afford to fix it? I convinced the plumber to fix it for free." "And?" Nancy said, "Remember when you needed heart surgery in ’75 and we didn’t have insurance? I had the doctor treat you for free." "And the third time? "Do you remember when you ran for mayor back in ’89 and you were behind by 200 votes..."

- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

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Wednesday, April 02, 2008

The George W. Bush Sewage Plant...

Via Think Progress:

SFist reports that the enterprising Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco is looking to rename Oceanside Wastewater Treatment Facility to the “George W. Bush Sewage Plant.” The group explains it seeks to “select a fitting monument to this president’s work” and to “honor George W Bush for his eight years of honorable public service.” “No other president in American history has accomplished so much in such a short time,” the group notes.

- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

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Saturday, February 16, 2008

Natural Selection in the New Millenium


(h/t: Galloping Beaver)

- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

"Garry Is..."

Yet another Facebook time well-waster (from Rachel S.) to amuse your friends and loved ones...

Google: "[YourName] is."

See the truth that then unfolds before your eyes.

You will laugh. You will cry.

And then, you will blog about it....

Here are my top ten results:

Garry is....

  • named after Garry Kasparov, the last human chess master to be beaten by a machine
  • the brilliant biochemist I could never be
  • very cautious about becoming involved in close relationships and sharing his feelings
  • the right choice for Indian coach
  • going out of town this weekend and I am going to be alone. NICE!!
  • totally UNPREDICTABLE, and not even his own manager or band know what he´ll do next onstage
  • the most enjoyable Elvis tribute artist I have met
  • a past Chief Financial Officer of the Professional Speakers and Mentors Association
  • one of 18 musicians to win a Grammy award for the 1998 recording of Steve Reich's Music for 18 Musicians
  • tired and emotional - he returns to Shirley and Heather's flat. He explains the truth - Hazel did love Minty...
- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Carville And Frist Do Super Bowl Sunday



If you missed them first time around, the 2008 Super Bowl commercials are now online.

- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

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Saturday, January 26, 2008

A Joke

From Cathy:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.

“I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said.

The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.”

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

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Thursday, December 27, 2007

Snark Du Jour

Crooks and Liars:

Phrases international heads of state should not use together: “Dalai Lama” and “call girl”.

... We at C&L Late Night were trying to figure out if George W. Bush had said something stupider, but then again “The Dalai Lama is not a call girl” IS factually correct.

As Reuters reported on December 21, 2007:

"I met the Dalai Lama in my office but I meet everyone in my office. I don't know why I would sneak off to a hotel room just to meet the Dalai Lama. You know, he's not a call girl," Harper told OMNI television.

Cathy suggests that Mr. Harper was simply catching himself as he almost blurted out the name of Karlheinz Schreiber, a man whose hotel visits with another Canadian Prime Minister have been in the news lately.

- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

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Monday, December 10, 2007

Sign of the Times






From xkcd

- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

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Sunday, December 09, 2007

Hear a Hearsay Exception Here


(h/t - Lisa Hutch - The Trials)

- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

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Thursday, December 06, 2007

Angry Lawyers Will Win Your Case for You

(h/t - Settle it Now Negotiation Blog)

- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

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Friday, November 09, 2007

Quote of the Day

A Wonkette "synopisis" of an Andrew Sullivan post:

The Democrats do believe in torture, they just think it should be used by them on the people who sent them to Congress to stop the slide into insanity by not refusing to change course out of fear of the political implications of taking a stand on any given issue until they have expanded majorities and a woman in the White House. Between these two options, we choose to be waterboarded, thanks.

- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Quote of the Day

Delaware Senator Joseph Biden, at tonight's Democratic Presidential candidates debate:

Rudy Giuliani - he's the least qualified person to run for President since George Bush. There are only three things in a Rudy Giuliani sentence - a noun, a verb and 9-11.

- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

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Monday, October 29, 2007

And Now, A Word from the President...

A fantastic impressionist (as in Little, not Monet) is born...

(h/t: Dave)

- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

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