Showing posts with label parental alienation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parental alienation. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

The Tell-Tale Signs of Parental Alienation

BY RACHEL SPENCE, LAW CLERK AND SIMRAN BAKSHI, ASSOCIATE LAWYER 

Parental alienation is sadly not all that uncommon in high conflict separated and divorced families.

In the first of our two-part blog series on this topic, we will begin by setting out what parental alienation is, and how best to recognize the early signs of such behavior. Next week, we will be turning our discussion to how the family courts may choose to address this issue.

It is imperative to have a strong understanding of what parental alienation is as well as what it is not. Unfounded allegations of parental alienation can be just as damaging to your child(ren) (and not to mention, your position before the Courts), so this issue should be broached carefully, with due consideration and caution. Where possible, you should consult with a lawyer and/or a medical professional to help you determine whether there is an issue of parental alienation presented.

What is parental alienation?

Parental alienation is the acts of a parent or family member to psychologically manipulate a child(ren) to harbor feelings of hostility, anger, fear and / or disrespect towards the other parent or family member. The objective of course is to alienate the child(ren) from the other parent, and to discourage the fostering of a meaningful relationship with the other parent.

This is a largely overlooked form of child abuse and family violence. It can often result in long-term estrangement issues, and put the child(ren) at risk of both mental and physical illness, in what has come to be known as "Parental Alienation Syndrome".

The Parental Alienation Syndrome Controversy:

The concept of Parental Alienation Syndrome ("PAS") is not without its own controversy. PAS was first developed by psychiatrist and Columbia University Professor, Richard Gardner, well over twenty years ago, in the context of trying to explain a trend of what he believed to be false accusations of child sexual abuse in child custody cases. Mr. Gardner went on to develop the "sex abuse legitimacy scale", which as you can imagine, made him quite the controversial figure.

His position that parental alienation could be characterized to be a "syndrome" with distinctive signs and symptoms caused by a particular pathological condition or disorder is quite contentious among fellow psychiatrists, psychologists and therapists as well. An interesting read on Mr. Gardner's perspective of PAS can be found here.

While the question of whether or not parental alienation is a syndrome remains controverted, the more important fact for our discussion is that parental alienation is recognized by the Courts as being a form of abuse.



What are early signs of parental alienation?
  • The child(ren) shows a sudden negative change in attitude towards a parent or guardian
  • The child(ren) perceives one parent as causing the financial problems of the other parent
  • The child(ren) appears to have knowledge of details relating to the legal aspects of the divorce or separation
  • The child(ren) appears uneasy around target parent, perhaps resorting to "one word" answers, and failing to engage openly in conversations as was previously the case;
  • The child(ren) is uncharacteristically rude and/or belligerent towards the target parent
  • Access time is not occurring as agreed upon or court ordered - visitation is being unilaterally cut back by the other parent
  • The alienating parent undermines the other parent or speaks disparagingly about other parent in the presence of the child(ren)
  • The alienating parent starts making reference to other parent as being abusive and a risk to the child(ren) with no apparent good reason
  • Allowing the child(ren) to choose whether or not to visit a parent, though not an appropriate decision for him or her to be making, particularly in the case of younger children;
  • Disclosing to the child(ren) why the marriage supposedly failed and giving the child(ren) the details about the divorce or separation settlement;
  • Refusing the other parent access to medical and school records or schedules of extracurricular activities;
  • Blaming the other parent for not having enough money, changes in lifestyle, or other problems in the child(ren)'s presence;
  • Refusal to consider routine requests for scheduling changes, for no reasonable justification, to obstruct the access of the other parent to the child;
  • False allegations of sexual abuse, drug and alcohol use or other illegal activities by the alienating parent;
  • Putting the child(ren) in a position wherein he or she is asked to choose one parent over the other;
  • Encouraging the child to harbor anger or resentment towards the other parent;
  • Setting up temptations to to interfere with the child(ren)'s visitation with the other parent;
  • Giving the child(ren) the impression that having a good time on a visit will hurt the alienating parent;
  • Interrogating the child(ren) about the other parent's personal life;
  • 'Rescuing' the children from the other parent when there is no danger.

What are the statistics related to Parental Alienation?
  •  Indian Journal of Psychiatry, 1988: A child who was separated from his or her father for a period of three (3) months or longer while between the ages of 6 months to 5 years old, suffered a 2.5 to 5 times higher risk of conduct disorder, emotional disorders and hysteria than a child that did not go through the same period of separation.
  •  Bron, Strack & Rudolph, Univ. of Gottingen, Germany, 1991: Drastically increased suicidal tendencies were found in people who had experienced the loss of the father.
  • American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 1990: Children showed the most behavior problems if their parents were in a legal conflict and the visitation was not frequent or regular with both parents.
  • Acta Psychiatrica, Scandinavia, 1990, 1993: Scandinavian research found a significantly higher number of attempted adult suicides for people who, in childhood, had lost a parent through parental separation or divorce.
  • British Journal of Psychiatry, 1989: British researchers found that adults who suffered the loss of a parent because of separation or divorce have a significantly higher risk of developing agoraphobia with panic attacks and panic disorder
Going through a divorce or separation can be one of the most trying times of your life, particularly when it involves high conflict custody disputes. As you ride the emotional roller coaster that comes with this, it is so important that you remain as neutral and level-headed about your family situation as possible for the sake of your child(ren).
Next week, we will discuss the Court's recent position on the issue of parental alienation. Stay tuned!
- Rachel Spence, Law Clerk, Toronto
- Simran Bakshi, Associate Lawyer, Toronto

Visit our Toronto Law Office website: www.wiselaw.net

LawFact of the Day: Family Law

Here is your daily LawFact from Wise Law for Wednesday December 14, 2016. Today we are talking about Family Law.

A video posted by Wise Law Office (@wiselaw) on

Did you know that...

Where a parent repeatedly interferes to improperly prevent a child from building a positive relationship with the other parent, a court could find that parental alienation has occurred.

- Garry J. Wise, Toronto
Visit our Toronto Law Office website: www.wiselaw.net

Friday, December 17, 2010

The Ontario Family Law Ruling "Everyone" Is Talking About

While Mr. Justice Joseph Quinn's November 29, 2010 ruling in Bruni v. Bruni, 2010 ONSC 6568 (CanLII) goes strangely unmentioned by name in Kirk Makin's extensive Globe and Mail report today, In family court, a judge turns to ridicule to defuse the rage, I confess the case was nonetheless relatively easy to find online.

It merely required a search of the CanLii database for the term "dickhead."

(There was only one result)

Leaving Justice Quinn's many colourful turns of phrase aside for the moment, the case is primarily important as a rare example of an Ontario decision in which a spouse's misconduct - in this case parental alienation - has been regarded as so egregious as to essentially disqualify her from entitlement to spousal support.

The excerpts from the ruling, below, set out the Court's rationale for bypassing the Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines and limiting its spousal support award to $1.00 monthly:

9. Spousal Support

...(o) amount and duration under the SSAGs

[202] Larry’s projected annual income for 2010 is $81,000 (rounded). Using Catherine’s income as set out in her sworn financial statement and applying the with-child-support formula under the SSAGs, the monthly spousal support range is: $98(low); $466(mid); and $863(high). The minimum duration under the SSAGs is 5.5 years and the maximum is 11 years, both measured from the date of separation. The minimum period of 5.5 is generally what I thought would be appropriate (I was considering five years). Had Larry been earning $81,000 annually since separation, I would have selected the mid-range support figure of $466, preferring to be conservative in the circumstances of this case,[42] and require that it be paid for the first year after separation, declining to $400 in the second year, $350 in the third year, $300 in the fourth, $250 in the fifth and $200 in the remnant year.[43]As Larry’s ability to pay did not arise until the fourth year after separation, I order (but still provisionally) monthly spousal support of $300 in 2010, $250 in 2011 and $200 for the first six months of 2012.[44]

(p) spousal conduct

[203] Notwithstanding the SSAGs, s. 33(10) of the Family Law Act gives a discretion to the court to consider spousal conduct in arriving at the amount of support:

33(10) The obligation to provide support for a spouse exists without regard to the conduct of either spouse, but the court may in determining the amount of support have regard to a course of conduct that is so unconscionable as to constitute an obvious and gross repudiation of the relationship.

[204] Section 33(10) contains a number of key words and phrases, but they are straightforward in meaning and do not present any semantic tricks.

[205] To begin with, “course of conduct” requires something more than an isolated incident.

[206] The words “unconscionable”, “obvious”, “gross,” “repudiation” and “relationship” have meanings in everyday parlance consistent with their use in law. They are defined in The New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary to include the following: “unconscionable” – “showing no regard for conscience; not in accordance with what is right or reasonable”;[45] “obvious” – “plain and evident to the mind; perfectly clear or manifest; such as common sense might suggest”; “gross” – “flagrant, glaring”; “repudiation” – “rejection, disownment, disavowal”; “relationship” – “an emotional association between two people; the state of being related” and “related” means “connected by blood or marriage.”

[207] Section 33(10) provides clear guidance as to when the court may consider the typically-taboo topic of spousal conduct. There is no need to formulate a test.[46] Section 33(10) contains its own test; and it will be a rare case that passes the test.

[208] Section 33(10) does not restrict “a course of conduct” to pre-separation conduct. Also, “relationship,” in my opinion, includes the relationship of spouses as co-parents. The relationship of parent and child is inextricably linked to that of husband and wife. Accordingly, I am permitted to consider the post-separation alienation that Catherine created between Taylor and Larry in determining the amount of spousal support to which Catherine is entitled.

[209] The parental alienation[47] in this case reflects an intent by Catherine to destroy the relationship between Taylor and Larry; it is shocking conduct. It also amounts to a hideous repudiation of the relationship between Catherine and Larry as co-parents of Taylor. The harm here probably is irreparable. Certainly, it is extremely serious at best. How could such conduct not satisfy the requirements of s. 33(10), stringent as they are?

(q) final conclusion on spousal support

[210] While Larry’s access-conduct has largely reflected nothing more than inept parenting, Catherine’s parental-alienation behaviour has been evil. Is there a remedy?

[211] Dollars cannot replace the father-daughter relationship that Catherine has destroyed. However, in the circumstances of this case, justice has only a Hobson’s choice. Catherine’s alienation of Taylor and Larry must be condemned and, an effective method of expressing that condemnation, is by way of a reduction in spousal support.

[212] Accordingly, the spousal support to which Catherine would otherwise be entitled shall be reduced to one dollar monthly.

The ruling's caustic tone is exemplified by a selection of Mr. Justice Quinn's footnotes:

[2] At one point in the trial, I asked Catherine: “If you could push a button and make Larry disappear from the face of the earth, would you push it?” Her I-just-won-a-lottery smile implied the answer that I expected.

[3] I am prepared to certify a class action for the return of all wedding gifts.

[4] It is likely that, in the period 2004-2006, Larry was having one or more extramarital affairs. Interestingly, Larry’s father was married five times, in addition to going through several relationships. Perhaps there is an infidelity gene...

[7] The courtroom energy level in a custody/access dispute spikes quickly when there is evidence that one of the parents has a Hells Angels branch in her family tree. Certainly, my posture improved. Catherine’s niece is engaged to a member of the Hells Angels. I take judicial notice of the fact that the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club is a criminal organization (and of the fact that the niece has made a poor choice)...

[21] A finger is worth a thousand words and, therefore, is particularly useful should one have a vocabulary of less than a thousand words.

[22] When the operator of a motor vehicle yells “jackass” at a pedestrian, the jackassedness of the former has been proved, but, at that point, it is only an allegation as against the latter.

[23] In recent years, the evidence in family trials typically includes reams of text messages between the parties, helpfully laying bare their true characters. Assessing credibility is not nearly as difficult as it was before the use of e-mails and text messages became prolific. Parties are not shy about splattering their spleens throughout cyberspace.

[24] These do not strike me as the statements of someone who is concerned about precipitating a Hells Angels house call.

[25] I confess that I sometimes permit a lengthier hiatus than the schedule of the court might otherwise dictate, in order to afford the parties an opportunity to reflect on the trial experience, come to their senses and resolve their difficulties like mature adults. It is touching how a trial judge can retain his naivety even after 15 years on the bench.

[26] The New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary defines “dickhead” as “a stupid person.” That would not have been my first guess.

[27] And all of these prohibitions by Catherine are taking place with a trial date already inscribed on her kitchen calendar.


- Garry J. Wise, Toronto
Visit our Toronto Law Firm website: www.wiselaw.net

Sunday, November 07, 2010

A Message from Dr. Richard Warshak on Parental Alienation

We've posted several times over recent years on the approaches of various Ontario courts to Dr. Richard A. Warshak's controversial "deprogramming" techniques for treatment of children who have experienced parental alienation.

By way of background, here's an excerpt from my February 9, 2009 post, More on Dr. Richard Warshak and "Deprogramming" Parental Alienation:

Family Workshop, Dr. Richard Warshak's counter-parental alientation programme, was at the centre of last month's controversial Ontario Superior Court decision on parental alienation in A.G.L. v. K.B.D. (our previous reports are here and here).

The Dallas-based clinical psychologist, continues to attract the attention of Ontario's media and courts.

The Globe and Mail reported yesterday on a February 6 decision of the Ontario Superior Court, overturning an arbitrator's order that would have sent a Toronto teen to the Warshak programme. See Judge blocks sending teen for deprogramming treatment:

I've previously written to Dr. Warshak to request his comments. I heard from him by email this morning, indicating he has an article upcoming in tomorrow's Huffington Post. Dr. Warshak's new blog, Building Family Bridges, similarly advises.

Also noteworthy, his website's Publications section lists his articles, all of which may be purchased online. For example:

Family Bridges: Using Insights From Social Science To Reconnect Parents and Alienated Children

This article is the first in a refereed journal on the program for severely alienated children that has captured world-wide attention. The article passed a rigorous peer review process and provides the first detailed account of Family Bridges: A Workshop for Troubled and Alienated Parent-Child Relationships. We received more than 100 requests throughout the world for advanced copies of this article before it was even published! This groundbreaking article became the centerpiece of an entire issue of a professional journal.

...The article reports on Dr. Warshak’s study of the outcomes of the first 12 families in which he was involved with Family Bridges. The sample was composed of 23 children, 8 of whom were 14 or older. The children had been alienated an average of 28 months. Seven of the rejected parents were mothers, five were fathers. At the workshop’s conclusion, 22 of 23 children, all of whom had failed experiences with counseling prior to enrollment, restored a positive relationship with the rejected parent. At follow-up, 18 of the 22 children maintained their gains; those who relapsed had premature contact with the alienating parent. 34 journal pages with 99 endnotes and citations to 79 social science and legal references.

We'll check out tomorrow's HuffPo article and report further.
- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

Update: November 8, 2010


- GJW
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Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Long Island Judge Jails Mother for Parental Alienation

A New York Superior Court judge has sentenced a mother to six weekends in jail for civil contempt, finding she engaged in a pattern of alienating behaviour, including false allegations of sexual abuse, calculated to interfere with her former husband's scheduled time and relationship with their children.

Supreme Court Justice Robert A. Ross in Nassau County... held Ms. R. in civil contempt and ordered her to report to the Nassau County Correctional Facility every other weekend this summer.

Her term was to have begun on Friday, but was temporarily stayed pending appeal by a judge from the Appellate Division, 2nd Department, on Thursday.

"The evidence before me demonstrates a pattern of willful and calculated violations of the clear and express dictates of the parties' Stipulation of Settlement," Ross wrote in Lauren R. v. Ted R., 203699-02.

"The extensive record is replete with instances of attempts to undermine the relationship between the children and their father and replace him with her new husband, manipulation of defendant's parenting access, utter and unfettered vilification of the defendant to the children, false reporting of sexual misconduct without any semblance of 'good faith,' and her imposition upon the children to fear her tirades and punishment if they embrace the relationship they want to have with their father."

- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

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Thursday, May 14, 2009

More on Parental Alienation

Globe and Mail Justice Reporter, Kirk Makin, continues to follow the parental alienation controversy.

Today he reports on an interview with Queen's University law professor Nicholas Bala, who has completed a study on the "syndrome:"

An escalation in parental alienation allegations is draining valuable courtroom resources, a major study of 145 alienation cases between 1989-2008 concludes.

"Access problems and alienation cases - especially those which are more severe - take up a disproportionate amount of judicial time and energy," said the study, conducted by Queen's University law professor Nicholas Bala, a respected family law expert.

"One can ask whether the courts should even be trying to deal with these very challenging cases.

Prof. Bala said that the notion of parental alienation syndrome, coined in 1987 by U.S. psychiatrist Richard Gardner, is falling steadily into disrepute.

Professor Bala's study also addresses broader issues of gender equality before Ontario's family courts:
The study also urged the justice system to enforce access orders more rigorously for the sake of its own credibility.

It said that the relatively lax enforcement of access - an issue that primarily affects fathers - contrasts sharply with zero tolerance policies in domestic abuse cases and enhanced enforcement of child and spousal support orders.

The juxtaposition can convince fathers that the system is biased against them, Prof. Bala said.

"Just as feminists have some very important and valid criticisms of the family justice system, so do fathers' rights advocates," he said.

See: Parental alienation cases draining court resources

- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

Visit our Toronto Law Firm website: www.wiselaw.net

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Friday, March 27, 2009

Toronto Parental Alienation Conference

The National Post reports on a Toronto conference for lawyers, professionals and parents on parental alienation: Custody Judges Rule on Vengeance.

Also see coverage from the Globe and Mail: Gender Bias Evident in Parental Alienation Cases.

- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

Visit our Toronto Law Firm website: www.wiselaw.net

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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Another Ontario Parental Alienation Case

An 18 year-old Mississauga man has asked an Ontario Court Judge in Brampton to allow him to intervene in a Children's Aid proceeding that will determine the fate of his two younger brothers. 

The youth seeks custody of his brothers, aged 14 and 12, who now languish in foster care after refusing to participate in  a court-ordered parental alienation "deprogramming workshop." 

The Globe and Mail and the Toronto Star cover the case today.   

From the Star report:
The teen asked Justice Steven Clark to make him a party to the ongoing court case yesterday in a Brampton courtroom. He also asked Clark to forbid parental alienation experts from having anything more to do with his brothers.

"My brothers have ended up being committed in a hospital against their wishes, committed to live somewhere they do not want to live, exposed to psychiatrists who have attempted to carry out experimental therapy with them at the risk of severe harm to them, and if their lawyer will not do anything to stop this, I believe I have the right as their brother to be as concerned about them as each of my parents," he says in his affidavit.

The Globe's  Kirk Makin provides additional background:
The therapy, ordered in November by Ontario Superior Court Judge Francine VanMelle, was aimed at exorcising poisonous thoughts toward the mother that their controlling father had planted in the boys' minds.
Judge Van Melle granted the mother sole custody and authorized her to force her sons into a deprogramming clinic.
The court heard yesterday that, after the boys refused to go along with the deprogrammers, the mother had them returned to Toronto and committed to a psychiatric ward at St. Joseph's Health Centre.
A child psychiatrist at the hospital, Nagi Ghabbour, quickly became convinced that the prospect of forced therapy had turned the boys potentially suicidal. Dr. Ghabbour said in a letter that the boys felt "trapped in the legal system," and were filled with a sense of helplessness.
Dr. Ghabbour urged an immediate end to any further psychiatric assessments or forced therapy, and called on the Catholic Children's Aid Society to seize the children to forestall any further attempts by the mother to deprogram them.
Yesterday's hearing was to decide whether the eldest brother can intervene in CCAS proceedings to place his brothers in long-term foster care.
The so-called "deprogramming" therapies, aimed at combatting parental alienation, have been the source of much news of late.  

In January, a controversial decision by an Ontario Superior Court Justice required that three girls be removed from their mother's custody and sent for therapeutic treatment at the same Family Workshop for Alienated Children program created by Dr. Randy Rand, that is now challenged as harmful in the current proceedings.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

More on Dr. Richard Warshak and "Deprogramming" Parental Alienation

Family Workshop, Dr. Richard Warshak's counter-parental alientation programme, was at the centre of last month's controversial Ontario Superior Court decision on parental alienation in A.G.L. v. K.B.D. (our previous reports are here and here).

The Dallas-based clinical psychologist, continues to attract the attention of Ontario's media and courts.

The Globe and Mail reported yesterday on a February 6 decision of the Ontario Superior Court, overturning an arbitrator's order that would have sent a Toronto teen to the Warshak programme. See Judge blocks sending teen for deprogramming treatment:

An Ontario judge yesterday blocked an attempt to forcibly send a Toronto child for deprogramming treatment in a controversial parental-alienation program in California.

Madam Justice Thea Herman of the Superior Court became the first judge to rule against the controversial treatment orders, overturning a 2008 arbitrator's order that the 14-year-old boy be coercively treated.

"The remedy of the Family Workshop, as acknowledged by the arbitrator and the parties, is an extreme one," Judge Herman said in her ruling. "That means that caution should be exercised in awarding such a remedy."

Treatment at the clinic - founded by Richard Warshak - involves isolating a child from the parent who is identified as having poisoned his or her emotions toward the other parent. Therapists then attempt to undo the child's hostile feelings.

Of particular interest, the current Globe article claims that the cost of the four-day programme is $40,000.

The case, as reported by the Globe, should not be interpreted as a repudiation by the Court of the Warshak programme. Rather, the Court appears, on the specific facts of the case, to have determined the treatment to be inappropriately extreme for the specific family involved.

For more on Dr. Warshak's views and therapeutic approach, see this June 2008 feature from Macleans: Interview with Richard Warshak. A short excerpt from the Q & A formatted article is below, discussing an earlier Ontario ruling:

Q: In this case, Judge Turnbull seemed impressed by your proposed remedy. His ruling caused a bit of a stir in Ontario. He ordered this boy be flown, against his will if necessary, to this program you helped design, the Family Workshop for Alienated Children. Would that be an unusual ruling?

A It's becoming more common as the courts learn about the damage to children in the present and on. Particularly when judges learn they hold the power to help the family, judges are more willing to tell kids that they don't get to choose their parents just as they don't get to vote or drink alcohol. Not only do the kids have to stop acting like entitled adults, the judges tell the grown-ups to stop acting like kids.

Q: A newspaper report of that case calls the program "a facility that deprograms children." Is that how you would describe it?

A: Not at all. This is a gross misconception of the work we do. Our program teaches children how to stay out of the middle of adult conflicts, and how to maintain a compassionate view toward each parent. We teach children to think critically. When children learn how to see a problem from different perspectives they usually begin to heal their relationship without having to acknowledge that they had been treating the parent with contempt and without having to apologize for it. They begin relating in a more positive way.

Q: Yet I understand that, to varying degrees, children can be forced to attend, either through a court order or by being physically escortedto the workshop. This is after the courts have already said they're going to make them live with a parent they've already rejected. It sounds like a recipe for disaster.

A: Again, what we have going for us is that the child really has an underlying wish to get out of this bind. I should clarify that often it is not the judge who orders the child to attend the workshop. Rather, the judge awards decision-making authority to the rejected parent who may then choose to enrol the child in the program, just as the parent is free to make other decisions regarding the child's health and education. Our program is designed to jump-start the reconciliation and offer a safe way to contain a child's anxiety and conflict. It's a misconception that the children are restrained. No child has been brought to me in restraints, and I would never work with a child under such conditions. They are oftentimes lectured by the judge about the necessity that they repair the damaged relationship. Once they understand they no longer hold a power that they should have never been given in the first place it's remarkable how much they co-operate.

...Q: You've got some major parental repair work to do as well then?

A: We do. And in truth we're not as successful with [alienating] parents as we'd like to be. We have much more success in healing the damaged relationship the child has with the parent who was rejected. We have had success with the other parent sometimes but in other cases they have no interest in co-operating. In the most unfortunate situations, the other parent will end up rejecting the child themselves. "If you're not on my side you're against me." Even if the other parent does not change their attitude the children can learn enough often to withstand that kind of influence without succumbing to it.

Q: They're inoculated?

A: Yes. We give the children the tools to be children and to stay out of adult conflicts.

An extensive listing of Dr. Warshak's media coverage is here. His Wikipedia biography is here.

- Garry J. Wise, Cancun

Visit our Toronto Law Firm website: www.wiselaw.net

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Wednesday, February 04, 2009

"Deprogramming" the Children of Parental Alienation

Following up on the Ontario Superior Court's recent decision on parental alienation in A.G.L. v. K.B.D. (our report from last week is here), the Globe and Mail takes a critical eye to American counselling centres that purport to provide treatment to the "children of alientation."

See writer Kirk Makin's article, Judges sending children to U.S. for quack therapy, expert charges:

Parental alienation centres in the United States are using unproven "quackery" to deprogram children ordered into their care by well-meaning Canadian judges, a leading Ontario child psychologist has charged.

Peter Jaffe says the programs may even damage children by destroying overnight their primary support bulwark: the alienating parent whose care they have been under.

"It is not a good thing if a child has bonded to an alienating parent, but disrupting that child and pulling them away from whatever sense of security they have may end up being more harmful than good in the long run," said Dr. Jaffe, a professor at the University of Western Ontario in London.

"When you're going to provide a treatment, you have to know what the unattended consequences or side effects are," he said. "You may be solving one problem but creating a whole host of new problems."

The deprogramming issue erupted last week after a Toronto judge forcibly removed three girls from their mother and sent them for treatment to a U.S. centre in an undisclosed location. It was at least the third time that an Ontario judge has taken the extreme measure in the past year.

I'm not sure we know enough about these programmes to truly evaluate their long or short term implications. I am inclined to find them conceptually suspect, at very least.

To add a bit of perspective, however, I'll note that in Ontario, the forcible removal of children from emotionally destructive environments and subsequent enrolment of such children in state-mandated counselling programmes is not entirely a radical or new development.

In child protection matters, our Children's Aid Societies have a statutory mandate to do exactly that - in extreme circumstances where less intrusive interventions have been to no avail. This is the case, irrespective of how deep the attachment of affected children may be to their problematic caregivers.

See the definition of a "child in need of protection" at section 37(2) of Ontario's Child and Family Services Act:

(2) A child is in need of protection where,

(f) the child has suffered emotional harm, demonstrated by serious,
(i) anxiety,
(ii) depression,
(iii) withdrawal,
(iv) self-destructive or aggressive behaviour, or
(v) delayed development,

and there are reasonable grounds to believe that the emotional harm suffered by the child results from the actions, failure to act or pattern of neglect on the part of the child’s parent or the person having charge of the child;

(f.1) the child has suffered emotional harm of the kind described in subclause (f) (i), (ii), (iii), (iv) or (v) and the child’s parent or the person having charge of the child does not provide, or refuses or is unavailable or unable to consent to, services or treatment to remedy or alleviate the harm;

(g) there is a risk that the child is likely to suffer emotional harm of the kind described in subclause (f) (i), (ii), (iii), (iv) or (v) resulting from the actions, failure to act or pattern of neglect on the part of the child’s parent or the person having charge of the child;

(g.1) there is a risk that the child is likely to suffer emotional harm of the kind described in subclause (f) (i), (ii), (iii), (iv) or (v) and that the child’s parent or the person having charge of the child does not provide, or refuses or is unavailable or unable to consent to, services or treatment to prevent the harm;

(h) the child suffers from a mental, emotional or developmental condition that, if not remedied, could seriously impair the child’s development and the child’s parent or the person having charge of the child does not provide, or refuses or is unavailable or unable to consent to, treatment to remedy or alleviate the condition;

Is a child who is on the receiving end of unrelenting parental alienation a "child in need of protection?" At the extremes, probably.

The question, however, of whether the so-called U.S. deprogramming centres are an effective cure is an open one. I'd like to see research and data on this, before jumping to any conclusions.

And by research, I mean objective, comprehensive data on the long-term psychological well-being of children treated in these therapies. I was not swayed by the narrowly-defined study of a clearly tiny sample group by an involved clinician with a potential financial interest in the outcome, as was documented in an article yesterday at Parent Central (h/t Tamara E.):

An intensive four-day program for children who've been brainwashed by one parent into hating another is showing signs of success, with more than 80 per cent repairing their relationship with an alienated mother or father, according to new research presented by its lead clinician.

The results, made public yesterday and currently undergoing scientific peer review, show that 17 out of 21 children who have completed the program after being removed from the grip of a "toxic" parent forged good relationships with the other parent that continue more than two years later.

"I think part of it is the children are relieved; they never really wanted to be soldiers in this war between their parents," Richard Warshak, a University of Texas psychologist who runs the program, told lawyers attending the Ontario Bar Association's annual conference yesterday.

Warshak's work was cited last month in a Toronto judge's ruling that stripped a mother of custody of her three daughters after the woman spent more than a decade trying to poison them against their father.

...Warshak won't say how much the program costs but does call it "expensive" – equal to 1 1/2 to two years of conventional therapy.

...Although 130 children have completed the program, Warshak's research looked only at the 11 families he has treated himself. Seven of the alienated parents were mothers; four were fathers.

Beyond that, I can't deny that a made-in-Canada solution - one that would allow our courts genuine ability to scrutinize, supervise and regulate "anti-alienation" therapies - would leave me considerably less frosty about this form of intervention.

- Garry J. Wise, Cancun

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Saturday, January 24, 2009

On Paternity, Polygamy, Palimony and Parental Alienation in Canada

Canada's press has been having a field day with four sensational cases that have been winding their way through the nation's courts.

Dealing with fundamental questions at the very root of our values around marriage, children and family, these cases have captured the public's collective imagination - and ire -for very good reason.

The questions they pose are clearly lightning rods for debate:

  • How do we adjudicate the child support claims of a woman who deceived her husband for sixteen years about the paternity of the family's twin children?

  • What can be done for the children of a marriage who have become so alienated from their father due to their custodial mother's intensive brainwashing that they now refuse any contact with him?

  • Should there be any entitlement to support or family property sharing in Quebec when a long-term common-law relationship breaks down?

  • And on the very edge, what shall we now do with polygamy, given that the law has evolved to become considerably more elastic its definitional approach to marriage?
Biological Paternity Isn't Determinative - Cornelio v. Cornelio

In a January 7, 2009 decision of the Ontario Superior Court of Justice in Cornelio v. Cornelio, Madame Justice Katherine van Rensburg refused to terminate a man's child support payments for sixteen-year-old twins, after DNA testing determined that he was not their biological father.

In her ruling, Madame Justice van Rensburg framed the issues as follows:

[1] The issue in this long motion is whether the respondent’s child support obligations for two children, who are 16 year old twins, should terminate, now that DNA testing has confirmed that he is not their biological father. The respondent is also seeking repayment of the child support that he paid to the applicant for the twins from the date of separation in 1998, or at least from the date of a consent order of May 2, 2002 when the parties agreed to joint custody and to child support for the three children.
After an exhaustive review of the circumstances under which the law requires payment of child support by parental figures who have been in loco parentis - in the stead of a parent - with their non-biological children, the Court required the continuation of child support payments to the mother.

The Court, while noting the mother's blatant deception about paternity, also adopted the reasoning in "another line of cases... that recognizes that there is no duty on a spouse to disclose an extramarital affair."

The decision, which received much sensational press and talk-radio attention in Toronto, was reported in the Toronto Star:

In van Rensburg's ruling, the fact that Pasqualino Cornelio had acted as the twins' father for so long was key to her decision.

"The relationship that developed from the time of their birth was the natural relationship between a parent and his children," she said. "The fact of that relationship – even if it has now become strained – is sufficient to require Mr. Cornelio to continue to contribute toward the children's material needs."

At the root of this decision is the reality that the former husband was the only father figure the children had ever known. He had adopted the role of their father throughout the marriage.

And even though his parental involvement resulted from the mother's blatant fraud, the law has long held that child support obligations do indeed flow once an individual puts himself or herself in the day-to-day role of a parental figure.

The outcome in this case, therefore, is not terribly surprising As Madame Justice van Rensburg commented in her ruling:
....It is consistent with the decision of the Supreme Court of Canada in Chartier that focuses on the reality of the relationship and the best interests of the child in determining whether a parental role has been assumed and whether child support should be paid. Further, and on the authority of the F.S. line of cases, while the failure of Ms. Cornelio to disclose to her husband the fact that she had an extramarital affair and that the twins might not be his biological children may well have been a moral wrong against Mr. Cornelio, it is a wrong that does not afford him a legal remedy to recover child support he has already paid, and that does not permit him to stop paying child support.

[23] The right to child support is the right of a child, and is independent of a parent’s own conduct, whether it be delay in pursuing support, an attempt to contract out of support, or the failure to disclose an extramarital affair that may have led to the conception of the child. Mr. Cornelio was the only father the twins knew during the course of the marriage; the relationship that developed from the time of their birth was the natural relationship between a parent and his children. The fact of that relationship, which continued for six years before separation and then for 10 years after separation, even if it has now become strained, is sufficient to require Mr. Cornelio to continue to contribute toward the children’s material needs.


[24] Even if this matter were approached on the basis of fairness to the respondent, I would conclude that his child support obligations toward the twins continues notwithstanding that he is not their biological father. By his own admission, Mr. Cornelio knew at the time of separation that his wife had an extramarital affair with “Tony” and he developed suspicions that she had known Tony during the marriage and that he might be the father of all three of their children. Notwithstanding these suspicions, Mr. Cornelio sought joint custody of all three children and entered into a consent order that provided for his ongoing and important involvement in their lives and for the provision of child support. It was not until access was interrupted and Ms. Cornelio commenced these proceedings seeking increased child support that the respondent began pursuing this issue. As Mendes da Costa U.F.C.J. noted in Spring, a support obligation to a child created by one’s conduct during the marriage cannot be cast aside after separation. I can only conclude that this motion by Mr. Cornelio is a response to the current conflict with the applicant and his unfortunate alienation from the children, which may well be temporary.

Parental Alienation has Consequences - AGL and KBD

Similarly, a strongly-worded January 16, 2009 decision of the Ontario Superior Court Justice in A.G.L. v. K.B.D., 2009 CanLII 943 (ON S.C.), was equally predictable on any reading of the facts.

Madam Justice Faye McWatt's decision documents a horrific, fourteen year history of toxic parental alienation by the mother of three girls, aged 9, 11 and 14. The mother was clearly determined to terminate their relationship with their father, a surgeon who, in spite of the mother's concerns, had been repeatedly found by various experts to possess good parental ability.

All three children were adamant in their stated wishes to remain with their mother.

As reported in the Globe and Mail:

"It is now time for his and the children's fates to be free from [the mother's] control," Madam Justice Faye McWatt of the Ontario Superior Court of Justice said in her ruling. "She has shown that she cannot be entrusted with it."

The judge said the children had become so poisoned toward their father by the mother's "emotional abuse" that they had lost the capacity to make independent decisions about interacting with him.

... K.D. [the mother] also refused repeatedly to comply with court orders granting A.L. visitation rights, and invented excuses to thwart them.

Judge McWatt said a psychologist who assessed the family noted that K.D. was obsessive about observing the children when they were with their father, retained an unreasoning belief that he would harm them, and "overprotected the three children to the point of infantilizing all of them.

"Eventually, he was not allowed to see or speak to the children - but was left shouting good night to them through a door of K.D.'s home," Judge McWatt added. "Most times, he was not aware whether they were in the house. He did this for up to two years during this period."

In a stunningly blunt rebuke to the children's mother, the Court ordered that the three children girls be removed from their mother's care.

Madame Justice McWatt also required that they be sent for therapeutic treatment to a "Family Workshop for Alienated Children program," created by Dr. Randy Rand, at the mother's expense.

(Note the Globe's loaded characterization of the therapy programme as a "parental alienation centre for deprogramming." )

Finally, Madame Justice McWatt placed the children in their father's permanent custody - with contact with their mother essentially prohibited.

A brief excerpt from Madame Justice McWatt ruling follows:

[151] The three children of the marriage have been alienated from the Applicant over a long period because K. D. is unable to accept that it is in the best interests of the children to have a relationship with their father. She has been given several opportunities to change her behaviour over many years, and refuses to do so. I find that her unrelenting behaviour toward the children is tantamount to emotional abuse as described by Dr. Fidler. The views and preferences of the two older children are not their own. And for the children to have any further contact with the Respondent, significant therapeutic intervention is necessary.

[152] It is remarkable that A. L. has not given-in to the Respondent’s persistence in keeping his children from him over the last fourteen years and simply gone on with his life without the children as, no doubt, many other parents in the same situation would have and, indeed, have done. It is now time for his and the children’s fates to be free from K. D’s control. She has shown that she cannot be entrusted with it.

[153] The best interests of these children require an order for A. L. to have sole custody of them...

The court also issued a restraining Order, preventing the mother from having contact with the children, pending a subsequent review of the family's progress:

Pursuant to section 17(3) of the Divorce Act and section 35 of the Children’s Law Reform Act, and subject to paragraph 2 herein, the Respondent [mother] is not to harass, annoy or molest, or attend within 300 meters of, or have any contact with the Applicant [father]or the children. She is not to have any contact, direct or indirect, or cause any contact, direct or indirect, with the children or with the Applicant pending review of this matter, as set out below, and this Order of restraint of contact by the Respondent with the children applies to all places where the children attend, including, without limiting the generality of same, the Applicant’s home, the children’s schools, the children’s church or place of extracurricular activities.
What can we take from these two cases?

Fatherhood Matters

I'd suggest that while these cases break very little new legal ground, they highlight one of the fundamental values of Canada's current family law regime - nothing trumps what is best for the children. Period.

Especially the petty and not-so-petty squabbles of their parents.

All things being equal, Canadian law recognizes that children need the care, guidance and material support of both of their parents. Parents cannot legally walk away from that responsibility, not can they lawfully be pushed away.

At the risk of over-generalization, it is fair to say that poor behaviour and enmity of former spouses toward each other has become increasingly irrelevant in Canada's family courts over the last four decades. A line in the sand, however, is drawn at the point former spouses' misconduct toward each other detrimentally impacts the welfare of children.

These two decisions, jointly considered, do much to dispel the myth of Canadian family courts' bias in favour of women. But even if these cases have been rightly decided, many will harbour a lingering feeling that something is just not right about them.

At first glance, wrenching three girls - against their will - from the continuity of their mother's care, after the mother has psychologically ripped them away from their father, seems as much a retributive social experiment as a solution.

And providing no recourse to a man who has been duped to believe he has fathered a family's children - while imposing a decades-long financial burden upon him - hardly fulfils our quest for higher justice.

These two cases make us yearn for the kind of custom-made solutions that don't easily emerge in a family law system that is increasingly dominated by standardized tables, doctrines, guidelines and timetables:
  • A child support Order tailored to benefit the children, but not their mother - e.g. - the father makes certain expense payments directly to third parties in lieu of support, rather than paying support to the mother.

  • A transfer of custody that would not risk emotionally harm to the children by tearing them wholly from contact with their mother against their will. I have no crystal ball, but it would be no surprise to me if the eldest daughter, in particular, will simply count the days until she reaches age 16 and return to her mother's care thereafter - I've seen it happen.
Paradoxically, both cases are also a predictable byproduct of our anachronistic resort to adversarial justice as a means of sorting our the legal consequences of family breakdown.

Would either case have taken these unfortunate turns if our family laws featured a presumption of joint custody upon relationship breakdown and, absent emergency, required a mandatory period of intensive family law mediation before permitting litigation?

Palimony, Non?

The ongoing Quebec palimony case, which we first reported last March, provides a surprising glimpse of the disparity between the provinces in basic, family law policy.

While the interests of married people are determined federally through the Divorce Act and related legislation, the provinces retain jurisdiction over unmarried couples.

Unmarried common-law partners in Ontario have had statutory spousal support entitlements after three years of cohabitation since 1978, when the then-revolutionary Family Law Reform Act was enacted.

Common law spouses in Quebec are afforded no such protections. It is at least somewhat surprising, then, that it has taken until 2009 for the constitutionality of this anomaly to be tested.

The National Post reports on the case, now before the Quebec Superior Court:

A Quebec billionaire at the centre of a messy and public airing of his 10-year relationship with a young Brazilian summed up yesterday why he never married her, despite having three children together.

"It's not my cup of tea," the man, who can't be identified under provincial law, told a packed Quebec Superior Court room. His former common-law wife has launched a constitutional challenge to Quebec's unique-in-Canada family law to receive financial support, in a case that could affect the rights of the one million common-law couples in the province...

The woman's lawyers, who expect the case to go to Canada's top court, want couples in de facto unions for three years without children or one year with children treated the same as people who are married, just as in all other provinces.

The woman is asking for $56,000 a month plus a onetime payment of $50-million -- a figure she says reflects the kind of spending power she had when the two were together.

But the man, now living with a model to whom he is not married but with whom he has two children, says he gives the three children by his former lover ample support... He pays for the nannies, chauffeur, cleaning lady and cook, as well as all the children's school fees. He gives the woman $35,000 a month in child support.

Montreal blogger Coolopolis takes a more caustic look at the case in Common lawlessness in Quebec - the land without wedding rings:

Quebec has a lot of such unmarried couples. According to Statscan figures from 2005, 34.6 of women in Quebec are living in common law relationships.

Quebec's rate of couples living together out of wedlock is almost triple the rate in the rest of Canada, where only 13.4 percent of women are in unmarried cohabitation fake-marriage situations. Other countries are all far lower than Quebec. Britain, which studies show is the most sexually active country in Europe sees only 15.5 percent of couples in common law relationships.

... Quebec has Civil Law, the Napoloenic Code, as it's known. We do not practice Common Law here, so Common Law relationships is a misnomer. There's no such thing as a common law relationship, so there's no compensation for women splitting up from such a relationship.

So living in Quebec is a great deal for rich men. Sure, they'll be on the hook for child support payments but beyond that it's zilch.

I'm still scratching my head at why (and how) Quebec's provincial government has avoided this issue for so long.

While the actual legal arguments to be advanced have not been featured in any of the press coverage to date, I expect the parties' positions will focus of the conflict between the Constitution's separation of provicial and federal powers and the Charter's Section 15 guarantee of "equal protection and equal benefit of the law without discrimination... based on national or ethnic origin, sex..."

And for those who are interested, Ann-France Goldwater, the lawyer for the woman claiming support in this case, made a cameo appearance in the comments section of our first blog post on this case.

The Polygamists' Rationale - Everybody else is doing it...

Finally, with criminal charges pending against a British Columbia man with 19 wives, polygamy will now have its Canadian test of constitutionality.

As the Globe and Mail reported on January 21, 2009:

Same-sex marriage, they said, would be the slippery slope to polygamy.
Just a few short years after Canadians engaged in a caustic debate over whether two men, or two women, should be allowed to marry, the prognosticators will find out if they are vindicated - however unhappily.

The lawyer for Winston Blackmore, the man with 19 wives in the B.C. religious community of Bountiful who is to appear in court today on polygamy charges, says he will cite Canada's gay-marriage laws as part of his defence.

It's an argument that people on both sides of the same-sex marriage fight were expecting: If same-sex marriage is justified under Charter rights to equality, then polygamy is justified under the Charter's protection of religious freedom.

The article continues with discussion of another BC polygamy charge, now pending:

Salt Lake City lawyer Rodney Parker, who has represented members of the polygamous religious community in the United States, said yesterday the legalization of gay marriage in Canada will allow the court to focus directly on the defendants' constitutional rights in a way that U.S. courts could not.

With the Supreme Court of Canada decision legalizing gay marriage, Canada is "further down the path" than the U.S. on marriage issues, he said.

"It is a defence we've argued for in the states," Mr. Parker said in a phone interview from his office. The arguments, however, were ineffective because U.S. prosecutors went after sexual crimes, not polygamy. "The cases we had down here so far involved minors. Oler's case does not involve a minor."

Jim Oler, a rival leader from a different faction within the religious community in B.C., has also been charged with polygamy, for allegedly having two wives. Mr. Oler is aligned with those in the U.S. who have been represented by Mr. Parker. The Salt Lake City lawyer was the spokesman for the church after the raid last spring on the group's Yearning for Zion compound in Texas.

Marriage By the Numbers

Frankly, I don't think polygamy's day of recognition has come to Canada, yet.

But I do confess that I have at least an academic fascination with the legal arguments ahead.

The argument will be that where religious beliefs legitimately permit or even mandate such polygamous marriages, what then, can be the legal rationale for forbiding them in the face of the Charter?

Beyond that, doesn't the law, in theory, already provide some protection to polygmous spouses?

For example, if a person has dozen common-law spouses, wouldn't each of them have a support claim against the primary other - or perhaps all of the others - upon separation, if the cohabitation had a duration of at least three years.

(Except in Quebec, of course).

So there you have it. It's only January, but 2009 is shaping up as a year in which family law courts will be addressing a number of cutting-edge issues that will raise a few eyebrows.

- Garry J. Wise, Toronto

..........................

UPDATE:

A few of our comments have noted support awards to polygamous spouses by provincial courts in Saskatchewan. They've also directed my attention to the Criminal Code provision on polygamy:

293. (1) Every one who
(a) practises or enters into or in any manner agrees or consents to practise or enter into
(i) any form of polygamy, or
(ii) any kind of conjugal union with more than one person at the same time, whether or not it is by law recognized as a binding form of marriage, or
(b) celebrates, assists or is a party to a rite, ceremony, contract or consent that purports to sanction a relationship mentioned in subparagraph (a)(i) or (ii),
is guilty of an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding five years.

The text above has been amended accordingly.

Law is Cool has an interesting podcast on this topic here.

G.J.W.

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